I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
