We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
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