A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
