God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
