she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
