I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
