Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
