What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Randomize
