I need help removing her.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
