and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
