Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
i've created a new STD.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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