grandma shit on top of the toilet
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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