Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
why do cheetos always look like penises
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
