I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
He has the fingertips of a God
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