This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
