i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
