Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
