Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
