Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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