she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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