You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
