ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
