its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
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