Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
kristin has been a bad kristin
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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