I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
