just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
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