This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize
