Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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