In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
