Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
