you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I got her a Nickelback box set.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
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