real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i wish my penis had a tongue
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
