you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
