I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
do nipples grow back?
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