sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
How does one acquire holy water?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
