she was so not down for the gang bang
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
