The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
