The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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