Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
It's shark week go big or go home
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
