If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
