Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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