do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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