They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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