I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
They are going to name an STD after you.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
