Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
