You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
where am i from again
I look better un-naked...
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Randomize
