Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
