I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Dick very happy bro
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
