Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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