I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
