she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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